Friday, July 10, 2009

It's time for me!

Well, the walk worked. The girls (dogs) slept all night without getting up, it was so nice to be able to sleep all night without any interruptions! It's amazing what a little fresh air will do for you.

Ok, on to the next thought........I was just thinking about how when you're first married, it's so exciting and you think you can never be without him. My hubby was in the Navy, so he left for months at a time. I remember the empty feeling in my tummy every time he would leave and I couldn't wait for him to return. After the first week, I would be fine and settle into my single parent role. Then he might pop in for a week and back out for another month, the empty, lonely feelings would return right after he would leave again.

My hubby ported in Hawaii one time, he took a weeks leave and I flew out to join him. We had a great time together and it was so nice to see him, he had been gone for two months. However, as soon as I returned home after our wonderful time together in Hawaii, the empty, lonely feelings started again. Maybe that's just me, I don't know. We were stationed out of California at the time and my family was all in Montana, I was thankful I had my children to keep me busy.

As I look back on that time of my life, I realize that it was good for me to learn to become independent and stick up for myself. I had to deal with mechanics who worked on my car that tried to take advantage of me being a woman. I changed my own oil. I dealt with military doctors who tried to brush me off....I just asked to see their superior. It's amazing how much they will listen when you ask to see their superior! When we decided to sell our house and move to Montana, my hubby took two of our children and one dog with him and went ahead (he had to be there on a certain date to start his new job). I stayed behind for a couple of weeks to clean carpets and paint, keeping one dog and one child with me. We hired a realtor and sold our house via fax machine.

We moved to Montana in April of 1990, I missed my friends in California, so during the summer of that same year, I (age 27 at the time) packed all three of my kids (ages 10, 7 and almost 5) in the truck and we drove to California to visit all of our friends that we had left behind. My husband stayed in Montana and worked. The things you do when you're young!

Now that my hubby and I have been together for 31 years (in Dec. we'll be married 30), I don't mind when he leaves for awhile. I enjoy my time to myself. I even rented an apartment during one of my semesters at college so I didn't have to drive back and forth. It was really nice having a place to myself, I could eat when I liked, had quiet time to study AND the toilet stayed clean, there was never any urine to clean from around the bottom of it!

Don't get me wrong, I love my husband dearly and don't know what I would ever do without him. We are so comfortable with each other and have such trust and respect for each other that I know we will be together until one of us passes away. I no longer have those empty, lonely feelings when my husband and I are apart, I charish the time I have to myself and make the best of it. I think because I became a mother and wife so young that I never had any time for myself, my time was full of taking care of others, which I loved (I didn't know anything else), but now it's time for me!


  1. I enjoy being alone, too. I was a single parent for many years. Superman takes very good care of me but I still take care of myself for the larger part. We don't live together, and he understands I need my space at times. One day we will get married, and move in together. But I will still want some space and he knows I'd like the home we find to live in to be one that will allow some room for alone time for both of us. :-)

    I'm proud of you, and it's good knowing you can take care of yourself.

  2. OH I forgot to tell you how much I love your kayaking picture! Great shot!

  3. Kris,
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  4. Hi Kris!! I love this blog!! I started very young in raising a child (18) and I had to do it all on my own. Even my own parents wouldn't babysit or anything, so I had to grow up fast and not live out my young years. But you are right, at the time you feel alone, but it makes you such a better person!! I now live in a different town then my family and I'm fine with out the help. They help if I need it now, but heck I've done it this long :)

  5. Aw, I did enjoy this!
    It's so sweet how long you and your husband have been like that is quite rare these days. I might be young, but I know way too many people whose parents are divorced...mine included.
    Your blog is light-hearted, positive and refreshing and I will certainly be following :)

    I have a blog too:

    Keep up the good work! :)